I Wouldn’t Believe This If It Didn’t Happen To Me

For starters, I had a great trip to LA with Aspen.  We met up with the lovely, hilarious, and cute as cake twinsies, Ms Mila and Emma Stauffer, who are famous for their knee-slapping videos.  And we played inside a lot because it rained the whole time we were in (usually) sunny LA.  Oh yea, and this happened:

I had a brunch meeting in West Hollywood with a business partner I had never met in person before.  Prior to leaving Aspen had some milk and a beet and berry packet (they’re like baby food smoothies).   We then drove 30 minutes in surprisingly mild LA traffic to meet her.  During the ride Aspen kind of watched her Ipad but mostly watched the cars and looked at a baby picture book.

The arrival:

I valet the rental and walk hand in hand with Aspen into Cecconi’s, the most beautiful, non-kid-friendly brunch place you could imagine.  “Oh well,” I think, “We’re doing this.”  My partner is sitting at a table in the far corner and we walk over to her.  She stands to greet us but Aspen is whining (very unlike her).  I tell her to use her manners and say hello, and oh boy, did she.

Aspen vomits.  Full-blown-projectile-entire-contents-of-her-stomach vomit.  A lovely shade of deep and stainable pink that will forever induce a wretching response from me.

And then she vomits again.  And again.  And again.  And each back-to-back time produces a volume I didn’t think was possible from this child even ONE time.  And it happened at least six times.

Amidst my terror, shock, and deep sympathy for my child I beg to be told where the restroom is located.  As I carry her in front of me with finely pressed white linen napkins attempting to catch the contents of her stomach and then some, she continues to empty her abdomen THE. ENTIRE. WAY. TO. THE. BATHROOM.

The bathroom is beautiful with dimly lit lighting and cloth napkins to wipe your hands.  I hurl her in front of a toilet, just missing one more vomit sesh, when she turns to me with her bright pink stained face and says, “All done.”

The damage:

Her sweet white cardigan is toast.  Off to the trash it goes.  Her cute white converse are now pink converse.  Her dress has to be taken off (which I attempted to spot clean with the white hand towels).  Her tights are speckled with “the evidence”.  Her face and hair look like she has dived head-first into a mud puddle, except not a mud puddle at all but a pink vomit bathtub.

My white cashmere sweater is now tie-dyed pink.  My black jeans are doing their best to disguise “the evidence” but inevitably it dries and doesn’t look so inconspicuous after all.  My Chanel boots are covered.

We clean up and march back out to the restaurant while profusely apologizing to everyone I pass.  (Side note: Despite this being the first time Aspen has EVER vomited she is completely fine and asking for food.  Hm, wonder why.)

We have a new table!  Not only that, but the entire section of the restaurant where the scene of horror had occurred only moments before had been cleared out; obviously due to sanitation hazards and the offensive odor that I’m sure had permanently penetrated the flooring and ceiling.

Ever the persevering businesswoman I am, we commenced and then wrapped up the meeting but not before Aspen spilled two glasses of water.  We parted ways without touching (aka transferring bacteria) but with having created one deep and unforgettable memory for us and everyone at the restaurant.

Did you guys think that was bad?  Oh, it’s not over yet!

Then this happened:

The next day we drove to LAX to catch our flight back home to St Louis.  I must say I was quite pleased with myself for juggling four large suitcases, two carry-ons, a rental car, and a 2 year old without a stroller and making it to the gate with time to spare and zero anxiety.  “I deserve this break after my horrible, terrible, very bad day yesterday.” I tell myself.

The Southwest attendant announces it’s time to board.  So Aspen and I pick up our area. (She had built a “fort” between two seats and was putting her baby doll to bed while reading several books and neglecting her Ipad, but all of these items were scattered.)  As the passengers board I smell poop.

“Damnit! I thought I avoided this when she pooped this morning before we left!” I think.  And I AM NOT changing her on the plane if I can help it.  I pick her up by one arm and run to the nearest family restroom.  A woman who did not need the f-ing family restroom saunters in right before me.  So I run into the regular restroom.  A baby is sprawled out mid-change.  So back to the family restroom we go, I knock, knowing someone is in there.  “I’m in here!” She responds.  Yeah, I know, bish, hurry the f up because I know you don’t need it.  “Oh, sorry!” I say and then very loudly next to the door say things like, “I know honey, be patient!” and “We are boarding but we need to wait!” and things like that.  When a couple minutes later she opens the door and says, “It’s going to be a while.”  (I steal a quick glance inside to see her suitcase opened, I think she was taking a shower in the sink, swear to god.)  I think the fire started coming out of my ears.

I pick up Aspen again by one arm and run down the airport to find another bathroom.  There’s a line at the family restroom.  I run into the women’s bathroom and two women are doing their makeup at the changing table.  “Sorry but I need this NOW!” and they fretfully oblige to the crazy woman who carries her kid by one arm as the kid whimpers audibly.  “None of us want to be here Aspen but do you see me whimpering about it?” I don’t say to her.

The change:

It’s diarrhea.  Lovely.  It’s beyond disgusting and so is the changing table she’s on that I haven’t sanitized or put any barrier between it or my daughter.  All my good mom skills from the morning are out the window in times of crisis, clearly.

“I should pee really quick since I’m in here.” I think.  So I go in a stall, (WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT UP NEXT) and when I wipe I’m terrified to find that someone has been murdered in my toilet.  Ok, not really, but that’s what it looked like.  Well, what a time to show up, Aunt Flo!

“DOES ANYONE HAVE A TAMPON!!??” I scream as the fire is blasting from my ears.  Nope.  I halfway pull up my jeans and don’t bother with the fly or button (efficiency, people! Time is of the essence!) and find a little tampon machine in the bathroom so I desperately search for a quarter when an angel appears and hands me a tampon.  I do my business after I shuffle Aspen and my luggage into the stall for the second time in 30 seconds and do my thing.  Aspen insists upon washing her hands so I slap my clean but undried hands on hers before I pick her up by one arm and run back through LAX to my gate.  Aspen is pissed she didn’t get to wash her hands so she’s throwing a fit (or am I just hurting her?  Whatever, we don’t have time for this.) when I hear over the loudspeaker “ASPEN EDMONDS (why did they say her name and not mine?  Is it because they know she’s running the show?) PARTY OF TWO THIS IS YOUR FINAL BOARDING CALL!!”  The whole thing is a reenactment out of the climactic airport scene in “Home Alone” and we nailed it.

We made it on the plane, back row.  But she went poop again and I had to change her in the plane.  Diarrhea.  This time it got on her jeans so the occasional whiff I got for 2 and a half hours kept me on my toes because I never knew when it would hit.  Or maybe it was just vomit residue on some hidden part of her body from yesterday.  Anybody’s guess to be honest.

Anyway, for those of you who are still with me after this very long and detailed disgusting horror story, the moral is that we made it home alive.  And that’s the only moral because it was borderline traumatic for me and I’m still processing.  Maybe one day I’ll laugh about it… after I finish this laundry.

  1. You’re amazing for traveling with little Aspen all by yourself in the first place! I don’t think I could do it with my Leo.

  2. It’s happened to us all.. better yet to think of it not in the airplane 🤷🏻‍♀️, my daughters favorite time to pull major accidents where at restaurants 🤦🏻‍♀️.. I learned not to panic say a @%#%^ and prayer! Lol But accidents happen!! Kuddos to you for even finding humor to share. Glad she is doing good!

  3. Omggggggg. Baby vomit is like a feral cat! THERE IS NO CONTROLLING IT! God bless you. Flying with an infant is like a trip to the spa, flying with a toddler is like a trip to hell.

  4. I have heard that those pouches of baby foods are being recalled because mold can grow at the opening. No clue if that’s what she had, but thought I would share.

    You deserve a spa day with lots of wine. 💕

  5. This I’m sure is traumatic for all involved. As a mom of a 12 year old I can now look back and laugh about these sorts of mishaps. You some day will too. You seem to be a great mom and probably both of you will laugh about this or atleast you and she can be embarrassed when you tell her friends someday 😊

  6. hahahaha, no one EVER said being a Mum was glorious but believe me, you WILL Laugh over this….. someday <3

  7. There are a few things I’m impressed with in this story: a) you continued the business meeting. b) you didn’t lose your shit on the lady taking up the family bathroom c) you made your flight! Kudos to you, Momma! Success feels different when you’re a Mom of young kiddos 😊 Here’s hoping that your next trip doesn’t involve vomit, diarrhea or blood. 😂😂

  8. Oh my goodness! As a mom of twins myself and a singleton 20 months later, I know your pain. Lol. These moments really sharpen our skills as a mommy and become tools that we use for a lifetime. Good for you for making it home without breaking down. You’re an amazing mom and it’s most certainly the role you were created for. Much love to you and yours.
    Kimberly Holtan-Bates.

  9. My daughter got sick one time while in the car, after having played on an electronic device. It was then that we discovered that she had motion sickness. Once she got home, she didn’t get sick again. Sorry you had to do this all on your own! 😬

  10. I hung on every word. You will eventually laugh about it but enjoy having an epic mom story to tell. You’ve made it as a mom when you get one! BTW, you’re doing a great job♥️

  11. Meghan, First a hug. A big hug. This story rings all too familiar. You’ll be able to laugh one day soon. You are terrific!! So is your beautiful family. Hope Aspen is feeling better. Hugs Robyn

  12. omg! When I was in Naples Italy at 5am waiting for my plane, diarrhea just came out if me for no reason while sitting in a chair .( i had already vomited twice while walking through the airport. I was able to reach the sink to do that). I ran to bathroom w/o my phone. And had an exposion everywhere while squatting over the toliet. Threw the undies in trash and could not go out to clean my pants in sink bc my shirt went to my hips. Already checked luggage and had panty liners in purse. Lined the pants (thank God they were black fast drying and loose) with panty liners. Tied sweater around waist and went out to see my husband and figure out how I was going to get on a plane with shit pants for 13 hrs. Then saw the diaper changin bathroom and was able to go in and wash and dry the crotch. The tiny dryer took forever. My wonderful husband decide to give his (fresh) underwear to wear. I lined them with pads and had a comfy flight with cotton boxers sitting right by the bathroom. Didnt have another episode after that. I threw the pants away when I got home and had a long shower! I started laughing about it a month later…

  13. OMG, I’m dieing, 🤣😂🤣. You will laugh about this some day. I’ve had a crying baby before, but this is bad.🤣You poor thing, well hopefully you’ve experienced the worst you’ll ever have. Jimmy would have died if he was with you. Stuff happens. I am always aware of Moms needing a hand with bags. I wish I was there to help you. Shame on the other women.😡You’re home relax.❤️😀

  14. That’s life with a child. I don’t know one mom they had not had a day like that!! You will laugh about it one day.

  15. Wow…glad I read it to the end. You are a great Mom. I have 3 grown children. Completely understand. Though never has such a series of events like you. God bless you.

  16. Oh Mama, you did good. We have all been through those days. Yes, you will for sure laugh about it soon. Stories like these make you laugh and cry. I actually did both as I was reading. Thinking back to my days of having three kiddos. I think how on earth was it all possible? Your doing good and yes you still have more to come. But, hopefully not as intense. Love seeing your blogs and posts.

    1. That is very rude. No one wants to hear that they are glad that happened to them.

      My regards @meghankedmonds

  17. It’s so refreshing to hear someone else is living a parallel life with mine! You have to laugh – otherwise you have just given up. I always tell myself – if I didn’t want anything crazy to happen, then I would just need to stay at home. It’s always an adventure when you venture out!

  18. You poor thing. You are a wonderful mom. I would say it gets easier but it doesn’t. My son got the flu, Aspens age, and puked inside my shirt. We were at a grocery store and he didn’t feel good so I told him to lay his head on my chest. Good Lord – vomit (red) from punch an hour before. I had that puke all over me. Inside my bra, outside my bra, down my pants and in my underwear. Ugh I was so embarrassed because it was in a grocery store. Hope little Aspen is feeling better. Love reading your blogs and following you on Instagram. Kind regards. Suzette

  19. Oh Meghan I am so sorry!!!! This takes me back 24 years ago when my daughter was the same age as Aspen. You just really can’t plan for stuff like that to happen. I’m glad you all survived and hope little Aspen is feeling better!!!

  20. Bless your heart. I’ve certainly been there. I have twins (that will be 18 next month🤦‍♀️) and when they were about Aspen’s age, they got the Rotavirus and we didn’t know this until we mid-meal at a buffet and my son said his stomach hurt and just the way he looked, I just KNEW it wasn’t gonna be pretty. Before I could stand up, with him, completely, he threw up all down my back (and all in my hair) and then turned and did it all down my front. A little girl’s voice from a few tables away screams “Mommy!!” And the Mom screams back, “DONT LOOK AT IT!!!” 😂😂. We had to walk passed the buffet to get out. My husband thought it was so funny that this happened to me sooo, when we got home and I’m practically naked by now (trying to tear off my soaked clothes), I carry my son and his twin sister starts puking on my husband😂😂. Needless to say, it was a very long few days for us. That first night was a puke-a-roma every 30 minutes or so. Good luck. I hope nobody else gets sick 😢

  21. Omg what a drama queen you are. I’ve noticed you’re not very nice to Aspen and that really bothers me. You act so irritated towards her a lot. You need to be more nurturing towards her. You’re kind of selfish Meghan & act entitled. Follow Jimmy’s lead, he’s a great father, he’s very warm and loving towards his kids.

  22. Hi Meghan,
    I use to watch you on the housewives. You were one of my favorites. I love your honesty and you tell it like it is. I loved this story! You are the real deal!!! Being a mom is hard and stories like this happen!!! It made my day and made me think back when my son was little. He is now 18 years old and about to graduate from high school. I have written 3 children’s books (I’m a resource Teacher/dyslexia specialist). My son has severe dyslexia and one of the books is about dyslexia and all of the books are based on him as one of the characters. I would love to send them to you to read to your kiddos. Have a blessed day.
    God Bless,
    Heather Pritchard
    Fullerton, California

  23. Girl I feel you! My some got stomach flu when he was Aspen’s age, threw up allllll over me and everything. The next afternoon I started not feeling so good, so I left work early. Pulled up at my son’s daycare and had them bring him out to me. Bumper to bumper traffic, I start throwing up in a Walmart grocery bag which then makes me poop my pants, diarrhea. My son just screaming in the backseat. Being a mom is hard🤮🥰

  24. Hi Megan. I loved you on housewives and that’s why I follow you on Instagram. You keep me young and help me remember all the great times with my 3 children who are adults now. I’m 53. I share many of your stories with them. This was a great blog post. You did a great job and glad you made it home safe. I use a lot of your ideas and referrals on my two grandchildren 3 and 1. I love your energy and your kids are beautiful! Keep it up!

  25. Poor kid probably got a lil stomach bug!!! My started projectile vomiting at Olive Garden once….it was like the exorcist!!! I apologized profusely!! 16 years later and I’m still traumatized

  26. Wow, good thing the twins weren’t with you in a big ol double stroller. I guess it could be worse, you could have gotten Aunt Flo without realizing it and ruined a South West seat 😀

  27. This was so real!!! I loved it. It brought back so many memories and I laughed really hard 😂 You are a terrific writer.

  28. Omg….how you did not lose your mind is beyond me, just traveling with a toddler with no help would of done me in! Hope Aspen is feeling much better and you got some alone time with a large glass of vino! 🍷❤

  29. Omggg hahaha sorry I have to laugh but have been there. Wait till you start traveling when your child is potty training and they have to poop on a plane in a bathroom the size of a thimble. Not fun but you will laugh as they get older 😂😂

  30. You are an amazing mom, with quite the gift for writing! You must start chroncling all these amazing young family, professional, busy life juggling stories and write a book or make a movie!! It would be adorable, heartwarming and hysterical!!!! …sadly….former native Californian, Newport Beacher resident and real estate professional…..miss it every day….and now….a Palm Beach Florida resident….. 😥

  31. Wow I followed your story visually like parts of a movie! It was like I was actually there, thanks for sharing. Laughing for you now so you can laugh again later🤪

  32. Oh Meghan I am sorry you had such a terrible trip. Things will get better as the kids get older…. not. I have 2 a 23 and a 17 and I still have some panicky episodes. But I think you handled it better than I would’ve. Take care

  33. OMG 😮 what a shit (pun intended) show!!! You obviously handled the situation the best way you could’ve, so well done I say!!!

  34. I feel for you. I was stressed for you just reading this, but honestly it sounds like you handled everything like a champ!! Hope Aspen is feeling better.

  35. Sorry, I had to laugh but I do feel bad for you! You handled it very well though. I would have died! You probably felt like it but with kids you can’t really let it get to you! My kids are 31, 35 & 37!

  36. Omg! I can’t even believe all that happened and you still made the flight! Kudos to you! Keep on being the girl that gets shit done! Love you girl

  37. Sorry
    Megan it made me chuckle, my kids are grown but they sure run the show! Look at it this way you didn’t miss the plane 😉 p.s. your kids are adorable 💗

  38. Brings back memories of one of my boys vomiting mid flight on our way to Hawaii (so not exactly a short flight). He was with my husband a row back as I was with our other son. I got a tap on my shoulder from the guy who was sharing their row who requested the baby wipes! He was Jake Gyllenhaal’s stunt double! Poor guy! Fast forward 10 days later when we were returning home, he was on our flight again. I looked at my husband and said “He has got to be freaking out right now!” Good times!

  39. Dear Meghan, I totally enjoy ALL of your posts – Especially the photos. Happy that you and Aspen had such a great time together and also a memorable one – lol. You need to safely keep all of your stories of your little ones and their adventures , as time marches Sooooo quickly ! I truly believe that they would make a great book ( some day ) , that I would totally buy. Keep up your wonderful MOM skills – You’ve got this !

  40. Awe you are a great mom and handled that 💩🤮🤢very well!!! Aspen is lucky to have you as her mommy !!!! I to had a great 🤮🤮experience but my son wasn’t but about 12 or so months so I’ve kind of been there to😘😘

  41. That brought back memories of my days with toddlers! You’re a great mom! You will laugh one day and actually miss this time – it flies by!

  42. Isn’t it amazing to realize strength you never knew you had when shit (and vomit) hits the fan!? Great job Momma! Very well written also!

  43. Oh lord! How horrible! She must have ate something that didnt agree with her. I dont trust those pouches or packets because you cant see what is inside them! Folks have found curdles, mold and fungus! Those pouches are dangerous!

  44. When my daughter was two we went to Cancun. It was the first two minutes of boarding the plane. She turned white. I gave her a big hug and she vomited all down my back in my hair and all over the seat. I always have anti bacterial with me. I used that for the soaking wet seat and had to wash my hair in sink on plane with airplane hand soap. The lesson that I learned is AlWAYS have a change of clothes for the children ( especially on long car rides- I have a few stories with that as well) nearby – in a carry on for them AND you. I took that plane ride home in a bathing suit top. I love you and your children!

  45. Just another day in kids paradise haha I’m sure it will happen again one day, but ewwwww I could smell all the smells you were describing lol

  46. Oh my dear lord. The second I read where she drank the beet smoothie (not saying that’s what made her sick) but I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Traveling with little ones can be a lot of work. I’m just glad you’re home safe.

  47. Hahahaha oh my god…. that sounds like something that would happen to me! You deserve some type of reward for having to deal with the three P’s all within 24 hours 🤪 When we become moms, all dignity goes right out the window 😂 #momlife

  48. Yep that sounds bad. Keep a few ziploc nags In the diaper bag for that diarrhea so the disposal is done without odor.

  49. I love you, hahaha. I had a similar situation but the large lady sitting next to me in her seat AND MINE, while I was holding my 3 month EBF baby started yelling SHE’S HUNGRY!!! SHE NEEDS FOOD!!! (as in adult food) to the entire plane. Then the baby had a blowout so I had to give her a wet wipe bath on my lap WITH THAT LADIES LEGS, ARMS, AND THE REST OF HER, ON MY SIDE OF THE SEAT!! 🙄

  50. Props to you lady! I can’t believe all this happened to you and poor Aspen. She doesn’t even understand the concept of vomit. My daughters never knew it was going to happen when it did. I would agree with someone above who mentioned mold in those packets. A couple years ago, caprisun had a recall because a parent tested the bottom of the packet. It tested positive for mold, ever since then I have not trusted anything that comes in a packet. Applesauce on the go, etc. You just never know!!
    Hats off to you with running around the airport with your toddler and a bunch of bags. I’ve done that with 2 under the age of 5, it was a very sweaty experience nonetheless! I had my older daughter help me with the younger one though. And a baby leash that made me look like a monster but it kept her from going to far as she was fast on her feet!
    The kids are 8 & 5 now. It gets easier!!
    Mom of the year goes to you! I thought you were going to say someone took your iPad. That would be the cherry on the sundae.
    Hope your Chanel shoes are okay! Gotta love Aunt Flow for showing up at the utmost inopportune time!!!

    💕💕and best wishes!!

  51. Omg that’s crazy both of the events happened in one trip, I’m so sorry! The way you tell a story is great. Very detailed, I felt like I was there with you. 😂

  52. Wowowow! What a story, and I’m so thankful you shared it. I really felt like I was there and I wish I (or someone) could have stepped in to lend a helping hand! You truly are supermom and I hope you felt that way upon arriving home! I love you blog and posts, you’re a role model for new mommy’s like me! Thank you for sharing your life!! Xoxoxox

  53. Omg I would have freaked and broken down crying!!! I guess it could have been worse, you could have had the twins with you!! For my birthday my hubby sent me to Disneyland and my sisters house. On the plane to CA I had a crime scene in my jeans!!! I was HORRIFIED. For whatever reason it wasn’t on the plane seat!!! I was waddling to the airport bathroom but the damage was done. My sister picked me up at the airport and I put magazines down on her seat before sitting. Had to do laundry at her house. I can laugh about it now. No, actually not yet LOL

  54. I know these times are so hard but I promise you that “someday” you will look back on them fondly and wish they were all still happening!! My oldest is now 26. Our first flight we took to FL when he was about 6mos old. He was as good as gold on the flight and the businessman next to me was very relieved as he was obviously horrified to be “stuck next to us”. As we started to land, he made the mistake of commenting how good Kris was and that he was heading to the biggest presentation of his career…and then IT happened. Projectile…right into the mans lap! I actually tried to catch it..like that is even possible?! And then I made it worse by trying to clean the man up…in his lap! 😳 I was so embarrassed! I laugh now, but I’m sure he still doesn’t! It’s just the beginning, the joyous rock and rolling ride of parenting. There’s is no greater joy or test of endurance. You’ve got this!! And when you don’t, have a timeout! Mine are now 26, 24, 20 and 19. I’ve had a lot of timeouts! 🤣😜

  55. Holy cow, that is some story!! I had anxiety for you girl! Unreal! I’m flying solo with my 2 year old twins for the first time in a few weeks and this made my stomach drop! I’ll pack some extra clothes for all of us 😜

  56. I have to say you handled this pretty darn well. I had three kids and been thru it all, now the grandkids are here. It does get better, but I know how you felt going thru that. God Bless you for how strong you were being the only one to do it all.

    I hope you are both doing well and no one is having problems right now.

  57. Oh my gosh! I needed that! I have not laughed that hard in a long time! You are too funny, I could actually feel myself in your position with your storytelling skills! Keep up the great mothering!

  58. How I feel for you deeply my tears are from laughing extremely hard!! You really cant make something like like that up. I’m a mom of 4 sons whom has had her share of terribly, horrible awful days. God bless proof whatever doesn’t kill you…

  59. My daughter who is now 21 had a really sensitive gag reflex. Every time she would cry or throw a tantrum she would start coughing and then I knew what was coming next! Projectile vomiting 🤮 It was horrifying and it happened at least every other day since she was a strong willed child! I’m so happy those days are over!

  60. Oh my gawd! I do not know what to say except you pretty much survived a war! You should write a book. You are a fantastic story teller. I hope Aspen is feeling much better!

  61. “Sorry but I need this NOW!” and they fretfully oblige to the crazy woman who carries her kid by one arm as the kid whimpers audibly. “None of us want to be here Aspen but do you see me whimpering about it?” I don’t say to her.

    This is not funny or cool to do to Aspen👆👆👆
    She has legs and two arms , so show your child some respect for body functions she cannot control, and stop dragging her around whimpering by one arm- it’s not good for her arm socket or her self worth .🤦‍♀️
    I like you a lot but this blog seemed to annoy my motherly side ….
    Respect your daughter !

  62. #momlife…you rock. Keep telling your stories bc they are the stories of so many of us. Diarrhea, vomit, overbearing and overly judgmental woman around us, diners who glare, waiters who care, airline passengers who flare and mommy’s who share…keep doing your thing mama…we got you and we got each other.

  63. This is the stuff of nightmares…I want to know how the perfects do it? Some women just seem to nail this mommy thing…I’ll just be over here desperately trying to get my shit (and my kids shit) together! 😳🤢🙄

  64. Oh my gosh, you had me rolling with laughter while simultaneously having a horrified look on my face! I learned a long time ago not to give my son milk and orange juice at the same time or within even a couple hours of each other. 🤮 Apparently Aspen’s evil combo is milk & beets.. 🤣🤮

  65. Awww honey I’m so sorry that happened. And yes you will laugh about it. You are a Rock Star just for traveling with a toddler!

  66. I read every word and noticed you never said you lost it and broke down and cried! You handled these horrific situations beautifully! Good job! You definitely were cut out to be a mom! I am so impressed. I think I would have sat down and cried. Happy to hear you made your flight and arrived home safely!

  67. I don’t think I have ever commented on a blog in my life….. but O.M.G….. I am crying laughing at this story (not so much that it happened) but how it’s written. You are a talented writer and mama! Now I’m just sitting here praying I’m never in your shoes with my currently 7 month old son 🙈😂.

  68. Oh Meghan…..my son vomited everywhere in a restaurant too, but I slipped and fell in it. I finally grabbed a champagne bucket and told him to vomit in it!!! It happens to us all. You’ve got a great story for Aspen when she calls you years from now saying how stressed she is with her kids! Diarrhea is awful but again, it happens to most of us! My same little one stood in a corner and when I finally noticed him, it was coming out the bottom of his little pants all over his shoes and onto the floor…and I don’t know what I fed him but he STUNK to high heaven. I laugh about it now and my sister swears I should have named Stephen “Ralph” because we’ve had to stop a million times in the car for that kid to puke! He’s now a TV news reporter and sometimes when I watch him reporting the news I think of him as a little one and have to laugh….if his audience knew the things I know as his Mom.

    Enjoy your adorable babies, the messes and all the trying times. It’s a mother’s love that gets them through!

    Google “Stephen Quinn Reporter” and you’ll see my public puke machine kid!!! ❤️

  69. This too will pass and you will want it all back one day- vomit, diarrhea and all! I had to laugh a bit at your vivid detail of the story, but remembering I too had been there 35 years ago when my daughter was young and we had a similar experience- but I would clearly do it all again and smile through it knowing that “This too will pass” and now my baby who hurled in a crowded restaurant all the while diarrhea was traveling down her legs and tights- is now 35 and has a daughter of her own who is 5. You are doing a great job juggling it all, Meghan- take a breath and know it will all be over before you know it- seriously- it will and you’ll want it all back one day- but by then, you’ll be anxiously awaiting grandbabies! (Which is a whole other level of love!)

  70. Absolutely Hilarious!!! I love your writing!!! From a mother of 3 also, girl I see you, and I feel you! Hope you got a break when you got home! But I doubt it because rest is for the people without kids haha!!

  71. Oh dear…this blog post is one of my favorites! You’re a damn good trooper, girlfriend. Your writing skills are fantastic. These stories are priceless. I am so glad you moved to St. Louis. Imagine doing this last year with the “ladies “. You made me laugh, and I recalled several times with my own 4 kids. Ie: We were at Candlestick park on the 4th of July. Giants playing Minnesota Twins. We had 4 kids, one Mother in law ( visiting from Minnesota) Bottom line: 60 degrees and in the shade. Gramma buys kids Twins sweatshirts so they don’t freeze. 13 innings. 13 flipping innings. Oy. Yes, the fireworks were great. But really? Xoxo sending love from Sacramento California tonight. 🤗

  72. Omg. Can’t stop laughing. But only because this is why I’m terrified to travel with my kids alone. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

  73. Holy hell. That is an epic story. Sounds like you handled it like a champ. You will probably have PTSD! I was traveling alone with my 10 year old daughter on a flight from Seattle to London last year. Literally as the plane was landing (and any flight attendants that might have been able to help were seated themselves) she started projectile vomiting. Everywhere. All over her clothes, in her hair, in her shoes and all over my hands as I tried to catch it with those ridiculous flight sickness bags. I was sitting there paralyzed. I had actually packed a lot of napkins but they were inside my purse and my hands were covered with vomit up to my elbows. I had to lean forward and beg the woman in front of me for some Kleenex to try to wipe off my hands so I could try to dry her off. Oh, and that full bag of vomit? It started to disentegrate. We had to go through customs snaking through the line seeing the same people as the line snaked. She reaked! Finally picked up our luggage and I had to strip her in the dirty airport bathroom and wash her from the waist up in the sink. I put her in pajamas and another pair of shoes (thank god I packed a 2nd pair), tried to pull her vomit soaked hair up so it wouldn’t touch her jacket which had mercifully been in the overhead bin, and we proceeded to take the 30 minute train ride into the city. Hello London….it was snowing, we couldn’t find the hotel from the Tube station, the hotel couldn’t find our reservation, and when they did they said the room wouldn’t be ready for 5 hours. All this before 9:30 a.m. London time. I.was.done. I started to sob and they eventually found us a room sooner. We got to the room, I layed towels on the bed and we crashed. Too tired for a shower. Hubby arrived the next day and everything was laundered and back in order. Thank god he wasn’t managing the vomit fest. He would have been a dear in head lights. #momsforthewin

  74. Love you Meghan. Happy you and sweet Aspen made it home safe and she is feeling better.
    There are so many disrespectful people out there that only think of themselves but there are so many more kinder and generous others too.
    No need to apologize and you handled the situation like a pro. I can’t imagine what my Mom did as I am one of eleven, seven boys and four girls.
    Thanks for keeping it real. Much respect. God bless. Patty, Wallkill, NY

  75. Dear Meghan,

    I’m a french mum leaving in London, England.

    It ring so much bells with similar story. Less dramatic I have to say.
    It’s amazing how we (woman) can switch to survival mode sometimes and get on with the most insane situation.
    Thank you for sharing ! Love to read your blog !

    Have a good day.


  76. As a mom of three littles 4 and under, I constantly hear “you’ll miss this”……. and I assure you, when Aspen is older and you’re far far removed from diapers and diarrhea and vomit this WILL make for a hysterical memory. Thank you for sharing. Your honesty and realness is so refreshing!

  77. You really are a bloody awesome human Meghan 😍🙏💓 Thank you so much for sharing your stories like you do 😁 You are one amazing mom and an incredibly funny writer, I love reading your blog 😉 Thank you so much for this hilarious, all be it taboo subject matter to talk about 😂, It made me laugh so much and put things on perspective! 😂 You got this girl 😉
    Thanks again Meghan 💓

  78. OMG! Motherhood is not for the faint at heart that’s for sure. When those moments happen we as moms push through and don’t fold. You handled it well and deserve a big glass of wine❤️❤️

  79. Oh my goodness. When my daughter was like 3-5 she would never tell me that she had to Pee and she would hold it and hold it and hold it until it would just come out. It’s come out all over in the car, in the Macy’s women’s dressing room all over the carpet, etc. I know how you feel. ;o)

  80. Laughing to hard to write much else, except I’m glad you made it home.
    Now sit back and gave a glass or two of wine!❤😊

  81. You are hysterical!!! You tell a great story !! Love his real you are!! I watch everyday live to see your beautiful family! Keep up the good work and keep it real always 🥰🥰🥰🥰

  82. Dear Meghan 🤝 I feel for you 🙏
    Be proud of yourself and of Aspen too.
    When I’m reading your story, I cannot help myself but you’re writing this story with so much love and you seem to be very self aware about that your story most likely will make people laugh (with you) but also awaken huge compassion for yours and Aspens experience. (so I hope you can have mercy with me for laughing.) Aspen seem to have taken everything as it was very normal and she’s to young to be able to comprehend how vomiting 🤮 and diarrhea impacts the surroundings. Therefore you shall be proud of yourself! You didn’t let your little beautiful girl feel your emotions of everything that happened. You’re a wonderful and super strong mom and woman. I’m happy everything ended well and thank Goodness that both you and Aspen are alright now.
    Love ❤️
    / Grace from the other side of the Atlantic sea 🌊 👱🏻‍♀️🌺(🇸🇪)

  83. Dear Meghan 🤝 I feel for you 🙏
    Be proud of yourself and of Aspen too.
    When I’m reading your story, I cannot help myself but you’re writing this story with so much love and you seem to be very self aware about that your story most likely will make people laugh (with you) but also awaken huge compassion for yours and Aspens experience. (so I hope you can have mercy with me for laughing.) Aspen seem to have taken everything as it was very normal and she’s to young to be able to comprehend how vomiting 🤮 and diarrhea impacts the surroundings. Therefore you shall be proud of yourself! You didn’t let your little beautiful girl feel your emotions of everything that happened. You’re a wonderful and super strong mom and woman. I’m happy everything ended well and thank Goodness that both you and Aspen are alright now.
    Love ❤️
    / Grace from the other side of the Atlantic sea 🌊 👱🏻‍♀️🌺(🇸🇪)

  84. You did amazing. We’ve all been there! My kid projectile vomited in JoAnn Fabrics. Guess what he vomited on! Yup a ton of fabric. Himself. Me. The floor. My Coach pocketbook. His coat that he was laying on because he didn’t feel well and I dragged him to the store anyway…trust me. You’re a super hero and we got this!!

  85. Welcome to motherhood, right?! Ugh..I feel for u and am very respectful that u didn’t have “help” and still made it through in one piece! ❤️🙏🏼

  86. Firstly I think your amazing for traveling on your own with a two year old, just the thought of it makes me wanna reach for a glass of wine but to do that with a two year old that’s ill is even more amazing. Your so down to earth and by publishing your day from hell makes us all realise that we are all great mothers doing our best and that some days sh*t happens.

  87. Although I wouldn’t wish either of those “situations” on my worst enemy…it’s refreshing to read that someone else’s life has days of chaos quite similar to mine. Poor yourself a glass of wine. You did good mom. You survived. 🙌🏼

  88. 1. If it was a business meeting quite take your child
    2. Accidents happen and boy was this major your poor child.
    3. After vomiting ones, I would have taken her home. Let alone vomiting many, many times and you still attended your business meeting?!🤦🏻‍♀️
    4. I’m wondering why you didn’t think to take her to the doctor? So much vomit, I would have thought there was something wrong, possible flu?
    5. Again, after so much vomit, why decide to go home (LAX)? I would have her rest one day.
    6. WHYYYY lift her by one arm. It’s so dangerous!! I see so many parents do this to their kids. UUUUGH! PLEASE STOP!! You could honestly hurt and/or pull her arm from her socket.
    7. Aunt Flo!😯 “It’s a blood massacre”🙃 Yup, it happens. Always carry at least 2 for those emergencies.
    8. “Shit” happens. If the plane stinks, oh well.🤷🏻‍♀️
    So glad to know you both survived!! 🙏🏼

  89. You are an amazing mom Meghan!!! Always remember that! Having 3 kids myself I totally get it!! Sounds completely horrifying but it’s all in a days work as “mommies”!!! 💜💜💜

  90. What a cute and funny story! You’re such a good Mom! I remember those days so it really makes me laugh thinking back, but of course NOT at the time!

    Glad you made it home!

  91. With 5kids, we have definitely been there and done that … you will be laughing soon… and to make you laugh louder, I just had a similar experience last week, but it was my 88yr old wheelchair bound dad at a bathroom during his doctors appt.. I had know idea my dad was uncircumcised .. and wish I didn’t ! If I don’t laugh I’ll cry 🤣😳🤣

  92. Omg, you poor thing. laughing but have sympathy for you at the same time, the most important thing is you made it on that damm airplane. Mist people understand when you have kids and the stench and throwing up’s , we’ve all been there once or twice in our life’s. You definitely will look back on this time and die laughing about it as your sitting in your cabana with your girlfriends sipping on sone wine.

  93. Oh my Lord! As a military spouse and also member, we have had so many of those moments and wonder how we ever survived. I was laughing and shaking my head feeling every word you used to describe the experience. Oh the stories you can tell, lol! So glad you survived and made it home! Sincerely, D Medford Edwardsville, IL

  94. After you finish the laundry ? Poor thing you must still be whiffing poop , laundry is never done !!

  95. What a horrible mother. Why couldn’t you make things perfect? You were chosen to be a Housewife at one point. That means all PERFECTON. OBVIOUSLY! 😂 JK this story was too funny and real. Hope you both are smelling better these days. Miss you on the show. Would have loved to see you and your new kiddos. You have a beautiful family!

  96. Omg. Meghan. THIS. IS. MY. WORST. NIGHTMARE. GOD, I am so sorry you had to endure all that you did. To me, the worst would be the vomit in the non kid friendly restaurant, but diarrhea cha cha cha at an airport and having to change a baby on a plane sucks big donkey balls. I am blown away. You deserve to be in US Weekly with the “Celebrities, They’re Just Like Us” page…

    One last thing…please tell me you were sweating after changing her at the airport and hauling your luggage, carry-on luggage and a two year old around? I’m asking bc I would have been so anxiety ridden that I would’ve been dripping with sweat. I feel like I’m the only mom running late, having a crisis, or crying inside.

  97. You will laugh at the story one day. You will tell the story to your kids and all have a good laugh. Things like this are a right of passage with each kid. My now 16 year old son and I have a story from when we were moving from Utah to Colorado, middle of nowhere, vomit everywhere no bathrooms or rest stop for miles. We had to change and clean him and his booster seat on the tailgate of our truck, and if timing couldn’t be better and police officers drives up and my husband and I have to explain everything. We laugh now but I wasn’t amused so much 11 years ago. Lol

  98. What a day…every mom has total sympathy for you…someday…probably years from now you will chuckle over this! 😉

  99. What an ordeal. Five points for making it! – but how do you carry a two year old by one arm? My kid’s are in elementary school now so maybe this is a new fangled way to transport them.

  100. I hate to tell you but this is the price of being a mom. I have made about a million trips with my 3 children and have experienced everything from catching poop in my hand to having to fly 6 hours smelling like vomit. Your experience is not unique or earth shattering. Stop complaining

  101. Well I have to say I would’ve thrown up if I had had milk and beets combined!!!
    Also best to always pack an extra outfit especially when you’re far from home every place you go, but I bet you won’t make that mistake twice!!!!
    Sounds like a rough trip .

  102. Meghan: Greetings from a STL girl now raising 3 littles (1, 2, and 5) with my husband in Kentucky. This is a nasty bug that swept through our house last month. My 5 year old had it, and within a matter of hours, everyone else did except the 1-year old. The 2 and 5-year old were getting mad because their bodies wouldn’t stop spewing. The bathrooms were in constant use, and so was the washer and dryer. Fortunately, the bug left us in a day or two, but it was rough. I’m glad you didn’t catch it! Your life if very different from mine, but were both mamas with little ones and I enjoy reading about your adventures.

  103. Enjoyed reading yours and Aspen’s restaurant and airport no doubt unforgettable moments of your trip. We have all been there….for those that haven’t, will certainly feel as though they did after reading your detailed descriptions of them. Having experienced a similar incident with my 2 year old daughter and myself just before boarding our flight home…….it is one of those times that is forever etched in my mind. Amazing what we can do in 25 minutes.


  104. This sounds like a nightmare!! Lol my little guy had the stomach flu a few days ago and omg he had eaten vanilla ice cream with a bunch of cherries and without any warning he did the projectile puke all over me, himself, the couch , carpet! I feel your pain sister!! It took me hours to clean up and if I could have thrown out the friggin couch I would have!!! It amazes me how fast that tummy flu hit and as fast as it hit , the next day he was back to himself.
    Side note, I get so angry when single people use the family bathroom!!!
    Keep fighting the good fight! 3 kids under 3 is no joke!

  105. TBIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED! This is hilarious! I’m so sorry this happened to you, by the way! But oh my gosh! It’s moments like these, as mamas! That I realize WE ALL GO THROUGH IT!
    Thank you for sharing an making me laugh!

  106. Why did I waste my time reading this nonsense? What is that child doing with an I pad anyway?

  107. I just love reading about you and your family life Meghan. Some is funny, some OMG, some sad, but all of it comes from your heart!
    Continue to make us love reading about your eventful life! 💕

  108. That is life sometimes and we have to handle situations like this. That’s what mothers are all about. You are an amazing mother! So much stress but you did it!!!

  109. Great read good laugh all of us mothers and even grandma’s have been through this and believe me it won’t be the last time. You just get better at handling it and you do what you gotta do. Kids aye…ya gotta love me. PS they grow up so fast. Yesterday turns into last year and then they’re off to school, college and adventures without you. Cherish every minute and hold your head up high.xxx

  110. My oldest is 47 and I still remember sitting having coffee, relaxing…when she calls to me “ mom I had a dream last night that I threw up” (top bunk). You won’t forget…

  111. Ha this is why I don’t bring my crazy kids anyone under 3…. they’re savages!! Lol we fly frequently too with 4 kids… it’s nice to read other people’s horror stories too! 🤪🤪

  112. Omg!!! I had tears of laughter reading this! It reminded me of my own experiences like this with my kids when they were little. Shit happens, literally. You are a Great mom! Thank you for sharing and being real.

  113. Ok..,you are a ridiculously talented writer.
    And as a mom- Ive had similar situations (aside from my daughter and I both being diagnosed with cancer 1 year apart) but I think I blocked them – can’t remember details but. …keep writing. Not everyone can write like that. Definite gift!!!

  114. Wow that’s a wild ride. I don’t know if I’d leave again, lol. Mine are adults so I can laugh. Somehow you will survive because you are A fierce and strong woman. I
    Love your honesty!!

  115. Did no one offer to help??? I know it’s gross but you needed assistance. Glad you got home of!! Is Aspen out of the tub yet lol

  116. Omgosh! I literally have tears from laughing so hard. I’m so sorry this happened! You need to write a book because you are very talented when it comes to writing.

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